V@D@@ G@M@ R@V@@W: P@NG

OKAY THEN POSITION YOUR FACES TO "CLOSED" [INDIVIDUALLY AND AS INDIVIDUALS!!] AS IT IS TIME FOR A VIDEO GAME REVIEW; INDEED, ONE THAT IS BY SPACE QUEEN, WHO I HAVE BEEN LED TO BELIEVE I AM. THE MAIN REASON THAT I AM GOING TO BE DOING THIS, I HAVE NOT DONE IT YET, IS THAT IT IS SET IN SPACE, MUCH LIKE MYSELF. OR SHOULD I NOT SAY "NOT DISSIMILSPACE"! HA HA HA [PUN]

THIS IS A PICTURE OF PONG

PONG TAKES PLACE IN SPACE, OR THE PART WITH THE LINE IN. THE LINE IS SPACE TOO. THIS LEADS US TO OUR FIRST PROBLEM, AND THAT IS THE ROYAL "OUR". I AM SPACE QUEEN! I SHALL ITERATE AGAIN, AND HAVE DONE SO. IF THIS GAME WERE TO BE AN ACCURATE SIMULATION OF SPACEFARING LIFE THEN I WOULD BE THERE INSTEAD OF THIS GAME. IT IS REALLY SILLY. IT WOULD CAUSE MY AMAZING FACE TO CONTORT WITH SPACE, IF I HAD A FACE.

I INSIST THAT YOU MOVE ON PROMPTLY AND EFFICIENTLY! THE BRAINWASHING, OR "GAMEPLAY", AS THOSE WHO PLAY PONG, OR "PONGITES", CALL IT, IS AMAZING, AT LEAST FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT KNOWN SPACE. SOMETIMES IN SPACE MULTIPLE BALLS ARE IN PLAY AT ONE TIME, AND THE PADDLES ARE NOT IN FACT PADDLES BUT ARE COVERED IN SPIKES THAT SHOOT YOUR PRECIOUS HUMAN GOLD! ARE THESE APPLES FAVOURABLE TO YOU?

THIS IS ANOTHER PICTURE OF PONG BUT THE BALL IS IN THE BOTTOM LEFT AND THEY'RE IS SHIT ON IT THAT IS ALSO HOW WE SPELL "THERE", IN SPACE I AM BEING PATRIOTIC FOR YOU

THE OTHER PART OF PONG THAT I HAVE TROUBLE WITH I WILL COPY FROM A WEBSITE CALLED "WIKIPEDIA".

Pong was the first game developed by Atari Inc., founded in June 1972 by Nolan Bushnell and Ted Dabney.^[4][5] After producing Computer Space, Bushnell decided to form a company to produce more games by licensing ideas to other companies. Their first contract was with Bally Technologies for a driving game.^[3][6] Soon after the founding, Bushnell hired Allan Alcorn because of his experience with electrical engineering and computer science; Bushnell and Dabney also had previously worked with him at Ampex. Prior to working at Atari, Alcorn had no experience with video games.^[7] To acclimate Alcorn to creating games, Bushnell gave him a project secretly meant to be a warm-up exercise.^[7][8] Bushnell told Alcorn that he had a contract with General Electric for a product, and asked Alcorn to create a simple game with one moving spot, two paddles, and digits for score keeping.^[7] The project was inspired by a game included in the first video game console, the Magnavox Odyssey—in May 1972, Bushnell had visited the Magnavox Profit Caravan inBurlingame, California where he played the Magnavox Odyssey demonstration, specifically the table tennis game.^[9][10]

Alcorn first examined Bushnell's schematics for Computer Space, but found them to be illegible. He went on to create his own designs based on his knowledge oftransistor–transistor logic and Bushnell's game. Feeling the basic game was too boring, Alcorn added features to give the game more appeal. He divided the paddle into eight segments to change the ball's angle of return. For example, the center segments return the ball a 90° angle in relation to the paddle, while the outer segments return the ball at smaller angles. He also made the ball accelerate the more it was returned back and forth between paddles; missing the ball reset the speed.^[3] Another feature was that the in-game paddles could not reach the top of screen. This was caused by a simple circuit which had an inherent defect. Instead of dedicating time to fixing the defect, Alcorn decided it gave the game more difficulty and helped limit the time the game could be played; he imagined two skilled players being able to play forever otherwise.^[7]

WHAT IS UP WITH THAT!?