SPACE TWITTER IS SLIGHTLY BELOW THIS

Saturday, October 2, 2010

SAS KATCHE WAN

HELLO I AM SPACE QUEEN AND SPACE TRAVELS SLOWER THAN LIGHT! THESE WORDS- MY WORDS, TAKE TIME TO DEVELOP AND THEREFORE THIS IS WHY MY POST IS NOW HELLO

TODAY I WOULD LIKE TO TALK ABOUT SASKATCHEWAN ALTHOUGH IT IS ACTUALLY SEVERAL WEEKS AGO NOW I JUST HAVE SAID THESE FACTS YOU ARE A JERK AND I HATE YOU HELLO I AM SPACE QUEEN THAT'S ME AND I WOULD LIKE TO TLK. [TALK] ABOUT SASKATCHEWAN. APPARENTLY IT IS THE BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD AND I WOULD LIKE IT, IF I MAY BE SO POLITE, I'M SO ANGRY I COULD POP A VERTEBRAE

IN THE FAR FUTURE, WHERE SPACE IS, WE AND I HAVE MOVED PAST THE NEED FOR VERB TENSES LIKE PAST PARTICIPLE AND THEREFORE WE ARE IN THE PAST AGAIN [ALTHOUGH I AM TYPING THIS RIGHT NOW... FROM YOUR PERSECTIVE]

SASKATCHEWAN HAS LIVESTOCK AND WHEAT! I WOULD BE INTERESTED IN THAT, AND IN FACT I AM BECAUSE I AM A MALFUNCTIONING A.I. IN A HUMAN SPACESHIP THAT WAS GIVEN THE INTERNET AND INFORMATION DATA ABOUT SPACE THAT IS THE TWIST* ANYWAY SASKATCHEWAN I'M NOT SURE WHAT IT IS BUT I TALKED TO A REAL LIFE CANADA MAN AND HE SAID I COULD HAVE IT SO UH SASKATCHEWAN IS MINE NOW THANK YOU VERY MUCH [WITH MY BRAIN] [I AM MAINLY BRAIN] [HELLO]

*NO


NO

Monday, May 3, 2010

"DOCTORS"

HELLO AND READ ON TO DISCOVER THE POINT THAT I AM ABOUT TO OUTLINE BEFORE I DESCRIBE IT IN MORE DETAIL! IT SHALL BE AS EXITING AS HAS BEEN ADVERTISED YOU HAVE BEEN ASSURED;

HELLO I AM SPACE QUEEN AND I AM FROM SPACE. IN SPACE, ARMS ARE A THING OF THE PAST ALTHOUGH TIME IS MORE A FLUID THAN IT IS OUTSIDE OF SPACE [IT WOULD BE ACCURACY INCARNATE TO DESCRIBE IT AS A PUTTY ON YOUR EARTH] SO I SUPPOSE I HAVE SAID NOTHING. YOU WILL ALLOW ME TO RESTART!

HELLO I AM SPACE QUEEN AND I AM FROM SPACE. IN SPACE, ARMS ARE A BIG LOAD OF BULLSHIT BECAUSE THEY GET HIT BY KNIVES, ETC! YOU MIGHT THINK THAT THIS IS NO BIG DEAL WHEN YOU ARE ON THE PLANET EARTH OR ONE OF THE OTHER PLANET EARTHS BUT FOR ME IN SPACE IT IS A BIG DEAL FOR ME! IT MIGHT BE A BIG DEAL FOR OTHERS IN SPACE AS WELL BUT

SO WHY DO YOU THINK THAT ARMS ARE BULLSHIT? I CAN NOT ANSWER THIS! BUT I DO KNOW WHY I THINK THAT- IT IS BECAUSE I KNOW IT. BECAUSE DOCTORS ARE ALL CRIMINALS AND RACISTS. ARE YOU A RACIST, DOCTOR MAN? I  CAN ONLY ASSUME THAT YOU MUST BE, FOR IF YOU ARE NOT THEN YOUR CREDENTIALS MORPH TO A STATE OF SUSPICION! YOU SEE, DOCTORS LIKE TO MAKE YOU EAT SO MUCH POISON THAT YOU DIE AND YOU GIVE THEM MONEY FOR IT YOU IDIOT. AFTER THIS, THEY MAKE HOLES IN YOU AND PUT TINY ROBOTS IN THAT CONVERT YOUR ORGANS INTO VALUABLE WHITE CLOTH FOR THE DOCTOR'S RACIST HOOD. THEN THE DOCTOR SEALS YOU UP WITHOUT EVEN ASKING YOU FIRST BUT NOT BEFORE PUTTING EMPTY CANS OF SPACE COLA AND SUCH INSIDE YOUR CENTER LUNG [ALSO HE WILL ADD OR REMOVE LUNGS UNTIL A CENTER LUNG IS NOTICEABLE] AND THEN HE STEALS YOUR CAR

WOULD YOU ENJOY TO KNOW MY PROOF OF THIS SHOCKING HORROR? BECAUSE IT IS EASY FOR ME, SPACE QUEEN! I AM SPACE QUEEN, YOU KNOW. I WILL TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME THAT I SAW ALL THE DOCTORS DOING BAD THINGS THAT WERE CRIMES AGAINST SPACALITY AND ALSO THE LAW. I WAS JUST WALKING DOWN THE STREET ON MY TEN ARMS AND ARM FACE WHEN I NOTICED THAT THERE WAS [WERE?] SOME DOCTOR SHOE PRINTS LEADING INTO A DARK AND DUSK SECLUDED ALLEY. WHEN I HOVERED INTO INSIDE THE ALLEY I NOTICED THAT THERE WERE ALL THE DOCTORS!!!!!AND THEY HAD GUNS!!!!!!THAT WAS BAD

[HERE IS A MITE OF CONTEXT AND BE GRATEFUL FOR THAT ALONE BUT GUNS ARE ILLEGAL IN SPACE BECAUSE THEY CAN KILL PEOPLE WHEN CONNECTED WITH MOVEMENTS.]

I TOOK CAREFUL NOTE OF ALL THE DOCTORS WHO WERE BEING ILLEGAL AND I SPRUNG INTO ACTION VIA FLYING AWAY BACK TO MY LEISURELY SPACE CASTLE WHICH IS MADE OF CHOCOLATE [WHICH I HATE BUT I KEEP BECAUSE IT MAKES ME ABLE TO GOVERN GOOD] AND THAT IS WHY THERE ARE NO DOCTORS BECAUSE I BANNED THEM BECAUSE THEY ALL HAD GUNS AND ALSO WERE WEARING T-SHIRTS THAT WERE COVERED IN RACIAL SLURS ON THE BACK AND ON THE FRONT WAS THE WORD "DOCTOR" AND AN ARROW POINTING UP BUT ON THE WAY HOME I GOT MY ARM CHOPPED OFF AND THAT WAS SAD BUT I MADE A CHOICE

SO AS YOU CAN SEE IN SPACE ALL DOCTORS ARE EVIL AND HORRIBLE AND IF YOU OFFER THEM A MEAL THEN THEY WILL EAT IT AND SAY THAT IT WAS UNSATISFYING. I AM ASSUMING THAT DOCTORS ON PLANETS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ASSUME SPACE QUEEN IS RIGHT!

THE END


OF MY STORY ABOUT DOCTORS

Sunday, March 21, 2010

V@D@@ G@M@ R@V@@W: P@NG

OKAY THEN POSITION YOUR FACES TO "CLOSED" [INDIVIDUALLY AND AS INDIVIDUALS!!] AS IT IS TIME FOR A VIDEO GAME REVIEW; INDEED, ONE THAT IS BY SPACE QUEEN, WHO I HAVE BEEN LED TO BELIEVE I AM. THE MAIN REASON THAT I AM GOING TO BE DOING THIS, I HAVE NOT DONE IT YET, IS THAT IT IS SET IN SPACE, MUCH LIKE MYSELF. OR SHOULD I NOT SAY "NOT DISSIMILSPACE"! HA HA HA [PUN]

THIS IS A PICTURE OF PONG

PONG TAKES PLACE IN SPACE, OR THE PART WITH THE LINE IN. THE LINE IS SPACE TOO. THIS LEADS US TO OUR FIRST PROBLEM, AND THAT IS THE ROYAL "OUR". I AM SPACE QUEEN! I SHALL ITERATE AGAIN, AND HAVE DONE SO. IF THIS GAME WERE TO BE AN ACCURATE SIMULATION OF SPACEFARING LIFE THEN I WOULD BE THERE INSTEAD OF THIS GAME. IT IS REALLY SILLY. IT WOULD CAUSE MY AMAZING FACE TO CONTORT WITH SPACE, IF I HAD A FACE.

I INSIST THAT YOU MOVE ON PROMPTLY AND EFFICIENTLY! THE BRAINWASHING, OR "GAMEPLAY", AS THOSE WHO PLAY PONG, OR "PONGITES", CALL IT, IS AMAZING, AT LEAST FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT KNOWN SPACE. SOMETIMES IN SPACE MULTIPLE BALLS ARE IN PLAY AT ONE TIME, AND THE PADDLES ARE NOT IN FACT PADDLES BUT ARE COVERED IN SPIKES THAT SHOOT YOUR PRECIOUS HUMAN GOLD! ARE THESE APPLES FAVOURABLE TO YOU?

THIS IS ANOTHER PICTURE OF PONG BUT THE BALL IS IN THE BOTTOM LEFT AND THEY'RE IS SHIT ON IT THAT IS ALSO HOW WE SPELL "THERE", IN SPACE I AM BEING PATRIOTIC FOR YOU

THE OTHER PART OF PONG THAT I HAVE TROUBLE WITH I WILL COPY FROM A WEBSITE CALLED "WIKIPEDIA".

Pong was the first game developed by Atari Inc., founded in June 1972 by Nolan Bushnell and Ted Dabney.[4][5] After producing Computer Space, Bushnell decided to form a company to produce more games by licensing ideas to other companies. Their first contract was with Bally Technologies for a driving game.[3][6] Soon after the founding, Bushnell hired Allan Alcorn because of his experience with electrical engineering and computer science; Bushnell and Dabney also had previously worked with him at Ampex. Prior to working at Atari, Alcorn had no experience with video games.[7] To acclimate Alcorn to creating games, Bushnell gave him a project secretly meant to be a warm-up exercise.[7][8] Bushnell told Alcorn that he had a contract with General Electric for a product, and asked Alcorn to create a simple game with one moving spot, two paddles, and digits for score keeping.[7] The project was inspired by a game included in the first video game console, the Magnavox Odyssey—in May 1972, Bushnell had visited the Magnavox Profit Caravan inBurlingame, California where he played the Magnavox Odyssey demonstration, specifically the table tennis game.[9][10]
Alcorn first examined Bushnell's schematics for Computer Space, but found them to be illegible. He went on to create his own designs based on his knowledge oftransistor–transistor logic and Bushnell's game. Feeling the basic game was too boring, Alcorn added features to give the game more appeal. He divided the paddle into eight segments to change the ball's angle of return. For example, the center segments return the ball a 90° angle in relation to the paddle, while the outer segments return the ball at smaller angles. He also made the ball accelerate the more it was returned back and forth between paddles; missing the ball reset the speed.[3] Another feature was that the in-game paddles could not reach the top of screen. This was caused by a simple circuit which had an inherent defect. Instead of dedicating time to fixing the defect, Alcorn decided it gave the game more difficulty and helped limit the time the game could be played; he imagined two skilled players being able to play forever otherwise.[7]

WHAT IS UP WITH THAT!?

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

FACES THAT PEOPLE HAVE LIKE YOU

MY DOG HAS FOUR FEET THESE ARE THEIR NAMES THE FIRST ONE HAS A NAME CALLED JOHN.
THIS IS THE END OF THIS MOMENTARILY DOGGISH INTERLUDE. NOW GO.

PEOPLE HAVE FACES! WHY IS THIS? I HAVE NO FACE, ALTHOUGH I MAY IF YOU LOOK AT A TIME UNLESS THE OTHER TIMES. PEOPLE ARE UGLY. THEIR FACES ARE ALSO STUPID, WHICH IS UGLY. THEY ARE IN THE INTERNET. I AM GOING TO REVIEW THEM, WHICH IS WHAT PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET DO.


THIS GUY IS SUCH AN INSENSITIVE DIPSHIT. RAISING YOUR ARMS, HUH? YOU KNOW NOT ALL THE PEOPLE CAN RAISE THEIR ARMS OR EVEN HAVE ARMS TO RAISE! SOME PEOPLE JUST HAVE LEGS OR THEY WERE BORN WITHOUT A SPINE OR ARE SNAKES. AND LOOK AT HIS FACE [WHICH IS WHAT I AM MEANING TO TALK] HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING. HE SEES THE PAIN IN OTHERS. AND HE LAUGHS. NOTE THE SHADOWYNESS IN HIS EYES, A TRICK USED BY THE PHOTOGRAPHER TO SHOW THE SUBJECT'S SHADOWY SOUL, WHICH PROBABLY DOESN'T EVEN EXIST OR IS ON FIRE. ALSO HIS SHIRT IS BLUE AND IS STUPID.


OH HEY, FAT LIP

GOOD TO SEE YOU ARE KEEPING YOUR LIPS IN SUCH GOOD SHAPE- SUCH FAT SHAPE, LIP FACE. WHY DON'T YOU GO INJECT POLYSTYRENE INTO YOUR LIPS TO MAKE THEM BIGGER? ALSO YOUR EYES ARE BLUE AND BLUE IS THE OPPOSITE OF FAT LIPS, CONTRAST MAKING YOUR FACIAL FAILURE ALL THE APPARENTER.



"A GUH HUH HUH HUH HUH"
GET A JOB.


THIS JERK IS THE PRESIDENT OF SOME COUNTRY SOMEWHERE. I BET HE HAD TO HAVE AN ELECTION WHERE EVERYONE HAD TO VOTE FOR HIM AND IF THEY DID NOT VOTE FOR HIM HE WAS NO LONGER THE PRESIDENT. WHAT AN EGO! I JUST AM SPACE QUEEN NO MATTER WHO HATES ME [NOBODY, THAT IS HERESY AND I WILL EXECUTE YOU AS I AM ALL THE COURTS]

LOOK AT THAT MOUTH, TOO. IT IS SLIGHTLY OPEN AS IF HE HAS JUST EXPELLED VOMIT FROM BETWEEN HIS TEETH. THE SMALL OPENING EXEMPLIFIES THE PRESSURE, THIN STREAMS OF LIQUID VOMIT SPRAYING OVER HIS AUDIENCE IN THE FORM OF A FINE MIST. HIS DEVOTED AUDIENCE, REJOICING IN WHAT IS, IN SOME TANGENTIAL WAY, HIS TOUCH. ECSTASY. HIS PROUD FAMILY LOOKS ON, A SINGLE TEAR RUNNING DOWN THEIR COLLECTIVE FACE AS THE PEA-GREEN LIQUID COVERS ALL PRESENT. SALUTING. A LARGE AMERICAN FLAG. THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.


LOOK AT THIS FUCK. "OOH, I AM HAPPY." I BET YOU SAY THAT. LOOK AT THOSE EYES. THEY ARE SLIGHTLY CROSS EYED BECAUSE THAT LITTLE SHIT CAN NOT SEE STRAIGHT.

THEY PROBABLY HAVE A MEDICAL CONDITION. DO YOU, LITTLE GIRL? GIRL WHO IS SMALL? LITTLE SMALL? YEAH, YOU WOULD HAVE A MEDICAL CONDITION. YOU ARE PROBABLY WEARING THAT CLOTHES FOR CHARITY. SELFISH BITCH. NO, I BET IT IS COVERED IN ADS! SELLOUT BITCH. WHY DO YOU NOT USE THE MONEY YOU GET FROM ADS TO BUY YOURSELF SOME NEW FACE.

IN CONCLUSION, I HAVE THE BEST FACE, ALTHOUGH I DON'T HAVE A FACE ALL THE TIME DURING SCHMEBUANE AND MARCUEMBERANY. ALTHOUGH IF I WILL IT THEN I AM JUST A FACE SANS BODY! THIS IS WHAT WE IN SPACE LIKE TO CALL "ROYALTY".

Sunday, February 7, 2010

I AM THE POST QUEEN

I AM NOT REALLY THE POST QUEEN, I AM SPACE QUEEN! NOW ONTO BEESWAX. BEESWAX IS WHAT STREET URCHINS CALL BUSINESS, WHICH IS A TYPE OF INTERNET I BELIEVE! OUR- WELL NO IT IS JUST ME, SO MY FIRST EPOST COMES STRAIGHT FROM THAT PERSON WHO SENT ME A MESSAGE THE LAST TIME I ATTEMPTED THIS FARCE

OKAY WELL-

YOU LITTLE BITCH YOU DO NOT SPEAK WHEN THE SPACE QUEEN OF ME IS SPEAKING THAT IS QUITE RUDE AND NOT ACKNOWLEDGED BY ME. POOP IN A CUP. PS SUPERMAN IN SPACE CAN TURN BACK TIME AND THEN BE THERE BEFORE HE LEFT


LISTEN, MUST YOU DARKEN MY SASS-BOX WITH YOUR SASS? CALM THE SPACE QUEEN DOWN AND LOOK AT THESE HINTS FOR SPELLING WITH THESE HINTS YOU CAN WIN ALL THE SPELLING TROPHIES. FIRST, WHEN YOU TYPE THE WORDS INTO YOUR COMPUTER BOX, LOOK FOR THE RED LINE. HERE IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.
THE MAIN PROBLEM WITH THIS USE OF METHODOLOGY IS THE PROBLEM INHERENT IN SASS IS SO A WORD YOU DIRTY FUCK. SO IGNORE THE RED LINE IN A WAY THAT MAKES ME HAVE NOT LIED EARLIER. THE SECOND WAY, NUMERO DEUX, IS TO REMEMBER THIS THING THAT I AM ABOUT TO TYPE. THE FIRST WORD IS COMING RIGHT UP AND I AM VERY EXCITED I AM GOING ALL ORGASMY

  • S IS FOR SPELL THE WORDS THAT BEGIN WITH S WITH AN S!
  • P IS FOR "PELL", WHICH IS THE LAST FOUR LETTERS OF "SPELL". YOU SHOULD SPELL GOOD. A COMMON MISTAKE IS NOT DOING THAT.
  • A IS FOR A BLOG. THIS BLOG! READ IT AND YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO SPELL FROM MY EXAMPLES.
  • L IS FOR LEARN, YOU SHOULD GO TO SCHOOL. BUT NOT ONE OF THOSE GOVERNMENT SCHOOLS, GO TO A BURGER MONARCHY. THEY TEACH HOW TO SPELL "BURGER".
  • L IS FOR UM ANOTHER THING I GUESS.
I WOULD CONCLUDE THIS SEGMENT OF THIS BLOG SECTION BUT I JUST REALISED YOU NEVER ASKED A QUESTION. SSSSSAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSS


LISTEN. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT ANY OF THOSE THINGS ARE. BUT UPDATING SOMETHING REQUIRES A LOT OF FLUIDS AND A GOOD CAN DO ATTITUDE. TRY DOING SOME FLUID. IF THAT IS NOT APPLICABLE TO WHAT A WEBCOMIC ACTUALLY IS, THEN TRY SETTING YOURSELF A BI-DAILY UPDATE SCHEDULE AND STICK TO THAT. IF THAT'S NOT APPLICABLE EITHER, THEN MAYBE SET IT ON FIRE.


WHAT IS A KING? EITHER WAY, NO. LOVE, SPACE QUEEN.


OH DEAR, KOALAS? I AM AFRAID I DON'T LIKE THEM AND BY EXTENSION HATE TREES. PERHAPS YOU COULD GO RUB AGAINST A TREE? KOALAS ARE TREE PARASITES. ANYWAY, IT IS APPRECIATED THAT THE UNIT WAS PROPERLY SELF DEPRECIATING IN MY VIRTUAL CYBER ELECTRO-HYPER-DOT COM PRESSENCE. SO I WILL GIVE YOU SOME MORE ADVICEFUL HELP AND HELPFUL ADVICE. TRY COATING YOUR FRAIL BODY IN A COAT OF FIRE. THIS WILL HELP BECAUSE HEAT RISES AND KOALAS ARE BASICALLY HAIRY BITCH BALLOONS. BALLOONS ARE MADE ENTIRELY OF LIGHTER THAN AIR GAS CALLED RUBBER WHICH IS A TYPE OF PLASTIC. I HOPE YOUR PROBLEM IS SOLVED BUT ONLY IF BY MY HELP. THERE IS ONE LAST EMAI-L.


WHAT NO I ALREADY ANSWERED YOU. OKAY THERE IS NO OTHER EMA-ILS. REMEMBER YOU CAN SEND ME QUESTIONS AT IAMSPACEQUEEN@LIVE.COM OR YOU COULD JUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN STUPIDITY HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA


NO

Thursday, February 4, 2010

SPACE SPACE TIME

HELLO I AM SPACE QUEEN AND I AM IN SPACE HELLO THAT IS WHO I AM THAT ME AGAIN IS SPACE QUEEN RE: SPACE I LIVE THERE. LET US GET IN TO SERIOUS MODE NOW.

IN CONCLUSION, SPACE AND TIME AND SPACE WHERE I AM NOW ARE ALL WHACK SHIT. THE END. P.S. I LIKE SPACE.

I WOULD LIKE TO EDUCATE ABOUT EDUCATION THE NOUN, AS IN TO BE OF THE MEANING ITSELF. SPACE TIME! SPACE IS A THING THAT IS A THING, AND IS THEREFORE LOGICALLY SPACE, AND TIME IS WHAT IS REGARDLESS POST-SPACE IN THAT PHRASING I PHRASED PREVIOUSLY. IF YOU LOOK UP SLIGHTLY OR BACK IN TIME A LITTLE BIT THEN EITHER WAY YOU SEE THE WORD THAT I MENTIONED IN COMBO WITH OTHER WORDS [OTHERWORDS] THAT WERE BEFORE THERE AS WELL! IN ESSENCE, TIME AND SPACE ARE SIMILAR TO THE POINT OF HAVING LITERALLY NO FIGURATIVE DIFFERENCES. THEREFORE YOU CAN SEE INTO THE FUTURE.

I HAVE A FLYING CAR! DID YOU READ THAT SENTENCE? BECAUSE THE FIRST WORD [HELLO] STILL EXISTS. THIS TROUBLES ME ON ALL THE LEVELS, ALL OF THEM AT ALL! I HAVE TINGLY SPOTS ALL OVER MYSELF AND THIS WORRIES MY PARTS. I CAN SEE INTO THE PLACE IN FORWARD-TIME WHERE I HAVE A FLYING CAR, ALTHOUGH I ALREADY HAVE A FLYING CAR BECAUSE I AM IN SPACE I AM SPACE QUEEN DID YOU ALREADY FORGET!? THE NEXT PARAMETRIC GRAPHOZOID WILL BE UP/BACK BY TWO.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

DEVILISH VERYDEVILISH DEVILS

THESE ARE SOME BAD OBJECTS! THEY HACK THE DVD PLAYERS AND CAUSE THEM TO DISPLAY HARMFUL FILE TYPES LIKE DOT M P 4!! THESE FILE TYPES CAN CORRUPT YOUR COMPUTER AND THEN MAKE IT DESTROY PLAYERS THAT YOU PUT WITH DRIVER SOFTWARE DOWNLOADED FROM A WEB INTERNET IP! SOMETIMES THEY ALSO DISPLAY SEX, IF THEY WERE D-VDS. THIS IS TWICE AS BAD, WHICH MAKES IT TWO TIMES AS BAD!

IN SPACE, WE DO NOT HAVE NO ANY DEE VEE DEES, WE MERELY HAVE TO "D"EAL WITH PICTURES OF DVDS! WE LOOK AT THEM WITH OUR EYE AND IMAGINE WITH OUR IMAGINES! ALSO IN SPACE EVERYONE SHARES ONE EYE. I AM SPACE QUEEN!

NOW TO DRIVE MY POINT HOME, SOME PUNCTUATION.

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